(via wild-nirvana)
Characteristics of the Narcissist.
These characteristics apply to males and females
1. Self-centered. His/Her needs are paramount.
2. No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds.
3. Unreliable, undependable.
4. Does not care about the consequences of their actions.
5. Projects faults on to others. High blaming behavior; never their fault.
6. Little if any conscience.
7. Insensitive to needs and feelings of others.
8. Has a good front (persona) to impress and exploit others.
9. Low stress tolerance. Easy to anger and rage.
10. People are to be manipulated for their needs.
11. Rationalizes easily. Twists conversation to their gain at other’s expense. If trapped, keeps talking, changes the subject or gets angry.
12. Pathological lying.
13. Tremendous need to control situations, conversations, others.
14. No real values. Mostly situational.
15. Often perceived as caring and understanding and uses this to manipulate.
16. Angry, mercurial, moods.
17. Uses sex to control
18. Does not share ideas, feelings, emotions.
19. Conversation controller. Must have the first and last word.
20. Is very slow to forgive others. Hangs onto resentment.
21. Secret life. Hides money, friends, activities.
22. Likes annoying others. Likes to create chaos and disrupt for no reason.
23. Moody – switches from nice guy to anger without much provocation.
24. Repeatedly fails to honor financial obligations.
25. Seldom expresses appreciation.
26. Grandiose. Convinced he/she knows more than others and is correct in all he/she does.
27. Lacks ability to see how he/she comes across to others. Defensive when confronted with his behavior. Never his/her fault.
28. Can get emotional, tearful. This is about show or frustration rather than sorrow.
29. He/She breaks woman’s or men’s spirits to keep them dependent.
30. Needs threats, intimidations to keep others close to him.
31. Sabotages partner. Wants him/her to be happy only through him/her and to have few or no outside interests and acquaintances.
32. Highly contradictory.
33. Convincing. Must convince people to side with him/her.
34. Hides his/her real self. Always “on”
35. Kind only if he/she gets from you what they want.
36. He/She has to be right. He/She has to win. He/She has to look good.
37. He/She announces, not discusses. He/She tells, not asks.
38. Does not discuss openly, has a hidden agenda.
39. Controls money of others but spends freely on himself.
40. Unilateral condition of, “I’m OK and justified so I don’t need to hear your position or ideas”
41. Always feels misunderstood.
42. You feel miserable with this person. This person drains you.
43. Does not listen because they do not care.
44. Their feelings are discussed, not the partners.
45. Is not interested in problem-solving.
46. Very good at reading people, so they can manipulate them. Sometimes called gaslighting.
Characteristics of the Narcissist.
These characteristics apply to males and females
1. Self-centered. His/Her needs are paramount.
2. No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds.
3. Unreliable, undependable.
4. Does not care about the consequences of their actions.
5. Projects faults on to others. High blaming behavior; never their fault.
6. Little if any conscience.
7. Insensitive to needs and feelings of others.
8. Has a good front (persona) to impress and exploit others.
9. Low stress tolerance. Easy to anger and rage.
10. People are to be manipulated for their needs.
11. Rationalizes easily. Twists conversation to their gain at other’s expense. If trapped, keeps talking, changes the subject or gets angry.
12. Pathological lying.
13. Tremendous need to control situations, conversations, others.
14. No real values. Mostly situational.
15. Often perceived as caring and understanding and uses this to manipulate.
16. Angry, mercurial, moods.
17. Uses sex to control
18. Does not share ideas, feelings, emotions.
19. Conversation controller. Must have the first and last word.
20. Is very slow to forgive others. Hangs onto resentment.
21. Secret life. Hides money, friends, activities.
22. Likes annoying others. Likes to create chaos and disrupt for no reason.
23. Moody – switches from nice guy to anger without much provocation.
24. Repeatedly fails to honor financial obligations.
25. Seldom expresses appreciation.
26. Grandiose. Convinced he/she knows more than others and is correct in all he/she does.
27. Lacks ability to see how he/she comes across to others. Defensive when confronted with his behavior. Never his/her fault.
28. Can get emotional, tearful. This is about show or frustration rather than sorrow.
29. He/She breaks woman’s or men’s spirits to keep them dependent.
30. Needs threats, intimidations to keep others close to him.
31. Sabotages partner. Wants him/her to be happy only through him/her and to have few or no outside interests and acquaintances.
32. Highly contradictory.
33. Convincing. Must convince people to side with him/her.
34. Hides his/her real self. Always “on”
35. Kind only if he/she gets from you what they want.
36. He/She has to be right. He/She has to win. He/She has to look good.
37. He/She announces, not discusses. He/She tells, not asks.
38. Does not discuss openly, has a hidden agenda.
39. Controls money of others but spends freely on himself.
40. Unilateral condition of, “I’m OK and justified so I don’t need to hear your position or ideas”
41. Always feels misunderstood.
42. You feel miserable with this person. This person drains you.
43. Does not listen because they do not care.
44. Their feelings are discussed, not the partners.
45. Is not interested in problem-solving.
46. Very good at reading people, so they can manipulate them. Sometimes called gaslighting.
13 Reasons Why I Dislike the Show “13 Reasons Why”:
1. The American Foundation of Suicide Prevention has specific guidelines on how to safely portray suicide without inadvertently causing more deaths, and the series blatantly disregards those guidelines in graphically showing Hannah slitting her wrists. This could literally result in more deaths by suicide, which is NOT OKAY.
2. It glorifies suicide by making it seem like killing oneself and leaving tapes/a note/etc is the only way to effectively send a message to the world, when in fact, the opposite is true – the most effective way to send a message is to survive, thrive and tell one’s story.
3. It simplifies suicide by making it seem like it is a direct result of bullying, sexual assault, etc. when in reality the issue is far more complex.
4. It conveys other characters as unhelpful and unsupportive when Hannah tries to reach out, which could discourage viewers from seeking help themselves.
5. It does not effectively address the subject of mental illness, which is a major component in the issue of suicide.
6. Hannah essentially blames others for her death, when in reality suicide is a choice made by those who commit it. Yes, things such as bullying and sexual assault can be a main factor in suicidal ideation and mental illness, but the decision to commit suicide is solely in the hands of the individual.
7. One of the characters justifies her self harm by saying “it’s what you do instead of killing yourself”, which simplifies and glorifies self harm by making it seem like a good “compromise” instead of suicide.
8. The show provides no resources for those struggling with similar issues to Hannah, which again goes against the specific guidelines of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. It is not that hard to do research and find these guidelines, so it is clear that the creators of the show had little to no interest in taking advice from professionals or considering the potential negative impact they could have, which is honestly just disgusting.
9. The school counselor Hannah speaks to brushes off the clear signs of her being a suicide risk, which is literally against the law and not something any qualified professional would do.
10. It is highly offensive to many people struggling with mental illness and suicidal ideation because it never really delves into Hannah’s character, or portrays her as having mental illness (a major factor in most suicides) - it just makes her seem dramatic and attention-seeking, which perpetuates stereotypes.
11. It does not offer a healthy solution or way of coping with traumas such as bullying and assault - the only “solution” it offers is suicide, which, as mentioned previously, the show glamorizes and simplifies.
12. Hannah makes other people like Clay feel irreparably guilty for her death, which is cruel and inconsiderate, and not something most people who commit suicide would actually do. The show treats suicide as “the perfect revenge”, when in reality suicide is about feeling hopeless and sad and is a very personal decision.
13. As someone who has personally attempted suicide and knows the stories of countless others who have, I do not feel that the show accurately and fairly portrays the issue, or adequately addresses the main factors in suicide. To me and many others I have spoken to, it is downright offensive, lacking in research, and overall poorly done.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
(I finally watched the series yesterday to get a good opinion on it and) Re 12: Hannah also uses this tactic against someone she knew was a victim of rape and decided to further psychologically torture her. It bothers me because it’s ultimately fiction but it’s influential fiction with big names like Selena Gomez backing it, and it’s enjoying the back pats for being such a “gritty” look at suicide and is taking a lot of kudos for “helping” a problem when it isn’t. The creators definitely knew what kind of press this was going to get, so they needed to consider that with regards to how they approached certain subjects. It’s not a public service announcement. It’s opportunism.
i agree with everything on this list, and though there could be a justification for #9 seeing as how there are many unhelpful guidance counselors that don’t do their job properly, the thing that bothers me most is that 12 is completely true. hannah makes clay, a boring but innocent person, feel guilty probably for the rest of his life, though he did nothing and even respected her when she asked him to leave. she psychologically fucked with jessica who she KNOWS is going through shit like, oh i don’t know, surviving sexual assault. honestly this show was not a PSA, it was a “thriller drama” that used suicide as its vehicle, which is quite honestly gross.
I think what OP means with #9 is that the show tries to position itself as an *important voice* in teen suicide and mental health, but it’s spreading a discouraging message (among others) that administrators don’t care, which will discourage teens watching this to actually seek help. I also think from a discussion perspective, one thing this book lacked was simply an attempt to confront peers and resolve problems with words. It makes it seem as though nothing went right for Hannah Baker for all her efforts, but most of her attempts to confront any issues were to immediately yell at someone, then when it didn’t work out right away, to give up and sulk. And like I’m not saying a TV series has to be a definitive guide in How To Resolve Conflict as a Teen, but because this show is depicting something as serious as bullying and suicide, and is getting a lot of kudos for being such a “gritty, raw portrayal” I think it has some responsibility to be more helpful than it is.
I think all of us who went thru long term abuse we were unable to escape from had to tear out pieces of ourselves, of our mental health, physical health, emotional health, our integrity, our personality, our life, just to stay alive, we had to trade parts of ourselves for our life and that is not something you ever forget or recover from.
It’s fun having to walk on eggshells at home
It’s fun staying in one room all the time.
It’s fun not being able to do what you want at home.
It’s fun always looking over your shoulder.
It’s fun being hyper-aware of where your parent is at all times.
It’s fun getting yelled at over anything and everything.
It’s fun having no energy to do basic cleaning.
It’s fun getting yelled at for not doing said cleaning.
It’s fun having to spend all your energy just to minimally function and deal with all the yelling.
It’s fun always weighing whether doing something (or not doing something) is better or worse than getting yelled at.
It’s fun always wondering if you forgot something and if you’ll get in trouble for it.
It’s fun always holding your breath when you’re in the same room or area as your parent.
It’s fun not being able to say you have a mental illness.
It’s fun knowing either they suspect or just don’t care and continue to yell at you for things you can’t do.
It’s fun never feeling truly safe or truly at home.
It’s fun having nowhere else to go.
It’s fun not being able to get any help.
It’s fun being isolated and alone.
Child abusers don’t let children know they’re victims. Survivors of child abuse by large don’t know they’ve been abused. Abusive parents raise the child to have great compassion for them, to always view them as humane as possible, they make sure children are grateful to them, they point out every single thing they did for the child, such as “paid for your stuff” or “financed your schooling” or “gave you a roof over your head and fed you all these years” (even though to not do these things would be straight illegal, but they don’t mention that part, do they) as a proof of how good and generous they are, they make sure to recite all possible excuses to why they’re acting so abusive, they had a hard life, they have a lot on their plate, they’re good people they just make mistakes, they’ve been badly treated too, they don’t even know they’re hurting you, they’re insisting you’re too sensitive and get hurt from nothing, they don’t let the child hold them accountable or hold them guilty for any of their abuse. Abused child will be ashamed of themselves and hardly ever consider themselves a victim, they will be taught to repress and ignore trauma symptoms, to find a way to blame themselves for everything, to feel guilty just for how awful they feel all the time.
Emotionally abused child strongly believes that their parent is inherently good and deserves all the compassion in the world, all the excuses, all forgiveness and none of the blame for their actions (parents make sure children know that the blame would hurt them so children must never blame them) and will fight to defend the parent and point out why abuse was not really abuse, why children deserved it, why nobody is to blame, except maybe themselves, because “they weren’t good enough” to appease the parent which would then hopefully be a bit more kind (of course not). They often wont even admit how badly they’re scared of their parents.
To have an abused child realize they’ve been exploited, lied to, betrayed, systematically destroyed and dehumanized by their parent, their entire world needs to break down, everything they’ve been taught has to be acknowledged as a lie, what they considered right and fair needs to change to wrong, who they trusted the most needs to change to be least trust-worthy, who in their head, made sure they survive up to that point, needs to turn into a person who almost cost them their life, and destroyed it rather than held it safe. It’s not a fun ride. It’s devastating to go through, it breaks a person apart completely and forces them to re-construct their entire reality. And it’s the only way to have a chance to really recover, to validate themselves and their pain, to understand to what depth they’ve been damaged, and by who and why. It’s the only way to realize that they’re entitled to life, to food, to roof, to nurturing, to everything that was held against them, they’ve been required to feel grateful that they weren’t left to die.
For those who still have to face this, or are facing it right now, you are going through the worst of your life right now. For those who have no empathy or patience for survivors to figure their lives out, fuck you, try living their life for a few years, see if you survive it. For abusers, I hope someone figures out how to force you to feel every single bit of pain you’ve inflicted on your children, I hope you fucking scream yourself to death from pain you’ve caused.
As a child I felt much older than my years because I had to deal with things no child should ever have to. As an adult I feel much younger than my years because of all the ways my childhood trauma has held me back.
Anonymous asked:
I thought that AMS Studios was going to jump but it doesn't look they are since they aren't on the schedule
carmodance Answer:
That’s just what a student had told me a few months ago.
Anonymous asked:
the horror movie for chloe is called children of the dead and it's listed on her imdb as well as the producer / screen writer confirmed it via instagram. right now it's not 100% concrete because he still needs a bit more money to start production of the movie. even though it's a bit low budget, it's set to be quite good because it's already won many awards just for screen play.
realisticdancemoms-deactivated2 Answer:
ooooooooooooo neat
Anonymous asked:
I don't believe that Lex and Simrin have dance together in a combo but Lex did an IG live one time and I told him that a duet with both pf them would ve the best dance ever with their amazing contemporary and some sick breakdance tricks and he said Simrin was such a nice person and dancer and he would love to do a duet with her
carmodance Answer:
that would be such an epic duet!
Anonymous asked:
To the people saying "I'm from *insert non-US country and if Brooke was here she would have already drank before college" it's the same thing in the US. Most people start drinking/going to parties around age 14-15. It is NOT AT ALL uncommon here haha. We're the same as you all, just in a different country! Hell, the girl I used to nanny was drinking amongst other things and she started around 11 or 12 (she had older siblings and was at home during the siblings' parties). It's very normal here.
realisticdancemoms-deactivated2 Answer:
oooo 11 is too little imo
Wow no way. These anons are getting ridiculous. Soon you’ll get “I drank at the 5 everyone is too sensitive”
(Like it’s 21 for ur brain not just for fun)
The thing about abuse that people who haven’t been abused don’t tend to understand (and by all means, I am happy for those folks, it is wonderful that abuse has not been part of your life)–
Everything and anything can turn into your fault when you’re the target of abuse.
That’s why we flinch when someone spills something. Or someone burns their food on the stove.
That’s why we go to hide quietly in another room when someone trips or stubs their toe.
That’s why we automatically back away and put eight feet of distance between us and another person when they realize something went wrong or they get bad news.
That’s why we get anxiety attacks when someone can’t find an item they’re looking for and they begin to get frustrated.
That’s why our heart skips a beat when anyone raises their voice, even if they’re cheering for a sports team on TV.That’s why we’re so geared to apologize for things that have nothing to do with us.
When you’ve been abused you are accustomed to being blamed for things that aren’t your fault.
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(via realistic-dancer)
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